Anna C. Napp's Thirty Twelve Project

Thanks to Anna C. Napp for sharing her new project, the Thirty Twelve Project, here today. We met at Sarah Lawrence College's MFA program, both working on the literary journal, Lumina, and I'm very excited about her new venture. If you're interested, she's looking for a few more participants for 2015. Contact her directly through her website. 

Anna C. Napp is a poet, writer and teacher based in Denver, Colorado. She received her MFA from Sarah Lawrence College in 2004 in Poetry. She is a member of Lighthouse Writer's Workshop and has taught at several colleges in Colorado. Her publications include The Mountain Gazette, Snowline Poetry Journal, Painted Moon Review, Lumina and A Poet's Guide to Motherhood. She is also the creator of The Thirty Twelve Project.

The Thirty Twelve Project

It literally came to me in a dream. That sounds so cliché right? But I remember the night I woke up, stared at my ceiling and conceived this idea about total honesty. In the morning, I turned to my husband and said, “I want to do something called The Honesty Project.”

Let me just say, I’m an idea person. I have a lot of ideas and, more often than not, they fall by the wayside. So when I told my husband that I had an idea, he listened to me, probably thinking it was another “great” idea of mine that would dissolve into the ether. I’m also a mother of a toddler, a writer with an MFA, a former adjunct English professor who is taking time off from a traditional job to try my hand at this writing-thing. I’ve never just had time to write. I’ve always squeezed it in here and there. In grad school, I had two jobs and an internship in addition to my writing. What I’m trying to say is that I have a short attention span most of the time. I’m a poet, not because I don’t have some great novel ideas, but because I love the concentrated brevity of it. That, and I can just move on after a short period of time.

Also, being a mother of a toddler means I’m going in every possible direction at the same time. I’ve gotten pretty good at it. But I’ve also had my moments of despair, flirting with depression at a life that isn’t exactly how I pictured it. A mother in the suburbs of Denver, supporting a husband getting a MBA and taking care of a house, child, dogs, etc. Not exactly the fabulous NYC artist I envisioned. So, I find outlets. One of those outlets that I kind of love is ScaryMommy.com. It’s a place where moms can, at times, be brutally honest. I like that. Because sometimes being a mom sucks. Really, really, really sucks. All of the sudden your heart is walking around outside of your body demanding fruit sticks and apple juice with water, ice and a straw. And you fade. And you can’t help it. Maybe it’s just a little, but you have to alter yourself when you become a mom. Especially, writers, which is the ultimate solitary art. You have to be able to go into your head and float in those waters and listen to what they say. That becomes virtually impossible when someone never stops talking. I love my son with every fiber of my being, but the amount of energy required to be his mom often leaves me with nothing at the end of a day for my writing. On ScaryMommy, there is a confessional page. This is where women, I assume mostly, post anonymously about their lives. They are most often angry, frustrated or depressed. Every mother feels these things, but we can’t say it for fear of losing our membership to the Mother of the Year club. The pressure we feel to be able to do it all; be the perfect mother with the perfect, smart, clean, mindful, polite children (don’t get me started on the “Why aren’t you having 2?” question). We’re supposed to also be fit/thin, pretty, accomplished all the while preparing super healthy meals, snacks prepared and a house that came out of Better Homes and Gardens. But underneath, we think, “I hate my life sometimes.” I hate that I can’t just go with my husband to the movies anymore on a weeknight. I hate that we NEVER get to sleep in anymore. EVER. You get the idea.

So, I thought what would happen if people really started to say what they really thought. Not the censored version. To do this, I created The Honesty Project. Unfortunately, that name is taken and I wanted this to be unique. The idea evolved into The Thirty Twelve Project. I got thirty people to answer twelve questions as honestly as they could. They are anonymous. They are known only by the day of the month their answers will appear. They come from all over the world, vary in age from early 20s to mid 60s, have different socio-economic backgrounds and even some of them are anonymous to me as well. I loved doing this project. It kicks off on January 1, 2015 and runs the entire year. Please come and follow us! Who knows, you might even want to sign up for 2016! ThirtyTwelveProject.com.