I am a co-parent of an "only" child. Around his first birthday, someone said with a wink, "You're only going to have one child? No, you can't say that. You just never know!"
But I do know. We are lucky to live in a place where we have access to a variety of family planning options. My husband and I, since we met and before, wanted to raise one child.
There's no right or wrong way to decide to live your life, raise children or not raise children. The families or singles who decide to raise a child might do so with or without medical help or adoption services. As an outsider, you can't know what decisions an individual or couple made.
I grew up without siblings and being an only child was simply a fact of life. Sure, it was rarer then (the numbers have jumped from just under 10% in 1976 to 18% today), but I have always had friends that are my family in addition to my biological family. Sometimes I feel lonely, but that's because loneliness is a part of the human condition, not because I don't have a sibling.
Only children and children with siblings can be happy, unhappy, spoiled or not. There's no guarantee for health or intellectual capacity or anything else regardless of how many children you raise.
Parents or potential parents often ask me about my experience as an only child. I think it is hard to describe adequately since I've never known anything else. It was a childhood with ups and downs like any other. I never had a sibling that I lost or was taken away from me; I never missed someone who wasn't there.
My opinion as an only child and the parent of an only child? You'll be the best parent you can be if you do what feels right to you. Siblings could be best friends or end up disconnecting from each other or existing somewhere in between. There's no way to know because individuals are different and have different relationships separate from you. And there's good reason not to raise children if you don't want to. Do what you want to do; that's the best path for everyone.
For more, here's an article from PBS about the top ten (somewhat cute) reasons to have an only child.
But I do know. We are lucky to live in a place where we have access to a variety of family planning options. My husband and I, since we met and before, wanted to raise one child.
There's no right or wrong way to decide to live your life, raise children or not raise children. The families or singles who decide to raise a child might do so with or without medical help or adoption services. As an outsider, you can't know what decisions an individual or couple made.
I grew up without siblings and being an only child was simply a fact of life. Sure, it was rarer then (the numbers have jumped from just under 10% in 1976 to 18% today), but I have always had friends that are my family in addition to my biological family. Sometimes I feel lonely, but that's because loneliness is a part of the human condition, not because I don't have a sibling.
Only children and children with siblings can be happy, unhappy, spoiled or not. There's no guarantee for health or intellectual capacity or anything else regardless of how many children you raise.
Parents or potential parents often ask me about my experience as an only child. I think it is hard to describe adequately since I've never known anything else. It was a childhood with ups and downs like any other. I never had a sibling that I lost or was taken away from me; I never missed someone who wasn't there.
My opinion as an only child and the parent of an only child? You'll be the best parent you can be if you do what feels right to you. Siblings could be best friends or end up disconnecting from each other or existing somewhere in between. There's no way to know because individuals are different and have different relationships separate from you. And there's good reason not to raise children if you don't want to. Do what you want to do; that's the best path for everyone.
For more, here's an article from PBS about the top ten (somewhat cute) reasons to have an only child.
I needed to read that today! Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading!
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