M is for Mamma

Our bambino has started to point out letters. He can find the letter "O," one of our nicknames for him, on stop signs as we drive to daycare. We've started to add in "M" for Mamma and "D" for Daddy. He can mostly sing the ABC song - while humming the parts he forgets the same way I sing most popular songs.

These are the first building blocks to reading and writing. I'm so tickled to be a part of his journey. As for adding more letters to find in his surroundings, he's been taken with this recent library book find:

Writerly Tattoo? No, C-Section Scar

I've always wanted a tattoo. At each milestone, starting with moving abroad in 1996, I'd look for the perfect physical reminder to commemorate the moment. Like most things we search for, I realized later that I already have it: my c-section scar.

A friend on Facebook posted that she wanted to get a tattoo of a typewriter. That sounded perfect for this Woman Mother Writer. I've always been held back, though, by the pain of getting the tattoo and the likelihood of being allergic to the ink, since I've always been quite the allergy-prone girl. So I pushed the thought aside.

Then I remembered that I do have physical reminders of one particular achievement. In addition to the scars and calluses from living life, I have a cesarean section scar from giving birth. That thick line across my abdomen that pauses and then starts up as a thin line before fading away was our son's entry point into our dry world.

When I see our bambino, over two years old and his own person, I don't always remember the fact that I carried him. But the c-section scar is my private reminder of the moment our son emerged, squinting in the bright light and listening for our voices.

With time, the scar reminds me less of the difficulty of pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum depression I suffered afterwards, but rather the achievements my family has made together. Time allows us to grow and shift as individuals and a family unit, rather than forget or live alone in the past.

Did you recently have a c-section? Here is helpful advice from the Mayo Clinic about how to care for yourself after the surgery. You might also enjoy this article from Fit Pregnancy about your scar.

Poetry in the Air: Wedding Poetry Ornaments

photo by Susan Brennan

A dear friend asked me to help create "poetry ornaments" to hang on the trees outside her Austin wedding ceremony this weekend. She emailed her friends and invited them to submit poems, original or written by someone else. My mom and I printed them on heavy card stock, punched a hole in the corners and then another friend hung them up the day of the wedding with blue ribbon. Additional poems were spread on the dinner tables inside the tent.

The end result was beautiful. Poetry was in the air, blowing in the breeze, and feeding us. Guests stopped to read the poems in groups and alone.

Some of the friends who submitted poems wrote original poetry for the brides. What a tribute to a beautiful couple starting this new journey surrounded by love, family, friends and poetry.

Here are a few of my favorites from the published poems chosen by friends:
Jane Hirshfield's A Blessing for Wedding
Audre Lorde's Recreation
Li-Young Lee's The Weight of Sweetness
Michael Ondaatje's Cinnamon Peeler

What are your favorite poems celebrating love? 

"No!" to make room for "Yes!"

Our son, like most toddlers, loves the word, "no." He loves to shout, whisper, repeat and sing, "NOOOO!"

We Woman Mother Writers should probably say, "no" more often ourselves. We can't do everything. None of us wears a cape (at least not to work), we can't fly nor can we stop or otherwise manipulate time. That's all to say that we aren't superheroes and we have limits.

Sometimes we shouldn't take on that extra job (looking at you freelancers and adjuncts.) Sometimes we need to stay home to catch up on laundry and wash our hair. And "wash our hair" is not a euphemism; you know how hard it can be to find time to shower sometimes.

Saying, "no," will give us space to regroup and say, "yes" to ourselves and our kids. In the new children's book Wait by Antoinette Portis, a busy mom trying to hurry her child is reminded to "wait" by her curious son. By slowing down, essentially saying, "no" to her busy go-go-go life, they are rewarded by experiencing their surroundings.


Read more about Wait's author, Antoinette Portis, on her author page and a review of the book on Publisher's Weekly.

I first read about Wait and other children's books in Jessica Ralli's piece, Stories that Help Us Stop For a Minute. Click through to read all of her recommendations.

New Daycare Success!

Our son has been at a new daycare for about a month and a half. Its been a relief that he's (usually) excited to go in the morning and wants to stay in the late afternoon. We've found ourselves immediately able to trust the new teachers and learn from them, too.

I was worried about packing his lunch for the first time and remembering the new, seemingly complicated routine. We quickly got acclimated and we're happy to report that he's been eating the packed lunches. Of course I still worry about everything (like, if he eats 100% of his lunch, does that mean I didn't pack enough?)

The first few weeks were a little tricky as our son became comfortable with the new people and environment. And then the daycare was closed for a week for cleaning, which made the return yet another transition.  But now we're there for good, or at least a few years. It is a relief to know that he's safe and the teachers there are taking good care of him.

Phew. Onto the next transition(s).

Advice, Advice, Advice

A few friends have recently shared their news of their pregnancies. I'm excited for them and their growing family's journey. 

And I want to offer each family this advice: Read as much as you can, ask every question you have, and think about what you've learned. And then, with the guidance of experts, make your own decisions. Don't ignore your gut, science or emotions, but try to weigh them appropriately. 

You will receive endless advice about everything, from what fabric swaddling blanket to use to ... well, everything. Choose what to focus on and try to tune the other things out. It is easy to get swept up into everything, but it can't all be important. 

I found pregnancy and early parenthood to be a whirling storm of advice, but it doesn't need to be. Forza, friends! And Auguri! 

Forza!

You can offer encouragement in Italian by enthusiastically shouting, "Forza!"

And that's what I say to you, dear reader knee deep in pool laundry, art projects, low-humidty day outings, ice pop clean up and everything else summer:

Forza!

"Forza" literally means, "strength." I know that's what I often need, especially with the extra distractions of summer. You can do it, writer. Block off some time, even just ten minutes a day, to write something. Anything.

Well, not anything. Let's not count those back-to-school lists and to-do lists. Try something else. You might find some inspiration in some of my writing coach blog writing prompts.