Author, agent and teacher Cynthia Blair Kane is an inspiration. We were talking about balancing work, life and writing and she said fervently, "Yes! You must take care of yourself. 100% and First." And she's right. If I'm overwhelmed and destroyed by exhaustion, how will I be able to do anything well, including care for my son?
That's not always easy. How is there time to rest (or money to hire babysitters), let alone do all of the things that urgently need to be done? I can put off laundry for a few days, but I can't put off buying food to feed my son meals and snacks.
I don't know what the key is, but I know we each need to be frank with ourselves and our partners. We are all going to make small and big mistakes regularly, but that doesn't mean that all is lost (even if it feels like it through exhausted tears.) Check in with your partner, see what s/he needs and ask for what you need. Be specific. If you don't know what you need but you know you need something, say that. Say what feels real and take care of yourself.
These beginning years are hard. Really, really hard. I'm reminded, though, when teaching memoir writing workshops that journaling can help, too. Many of my students have well-documented pasts in letters, journals and diaries that they kept. Sure, the diaries tend to be fairly emotional, but they help to reminder the writers who they were and how they made it through. This is helpful for your own emotional development, as well as future writing (if you choose to work on that original material.)
Not all writing is or needs to be public. You can write for yourself to keep yourself even-keeled and healthy. Check out Cynthia's website for her recent articles on living well. You might also find this Huffington Post article 6 Unexpected Ways Writing Can Transform Your Health interesting.
That's not always easy. How is there time to rest (or money to hire babysitters), let alone do all of the things that urgently need to be done? I can put off laundry for a few days, but I can't put off buying food to feed my son meals and snacks.
I don't know what the key is, but I know we each need to be frank with ourselves and our partners. We are all going to make small and big mistakes regularly, but that doesn't mean that all is lost (even if it feels like it through exhausted tears.) Check in with your partner, see what s/he needs and ask for what you need. Be specific. If you don't know what you need but you know you need something, say that. Say what feels real and take care of yourself.
These beginning years are hard. Really, really hard. I'm reminded, though, when teaching memoir writing workshops that journaling can help, too. Many of my students have well-documented pasts in letters, journals and diaries that they kept. Sure, the diaries tend to be fairly emotional, but they help to reminder the writers who they were and how they made it through. This is helpful for your own emotional development, as well as future writing (if you choose to work on that original material.)
Not all writing is or needs to be public. You can write for yourself to keep yourself even-keeled and healthy. Check out Cynthia's website for her recent articles on living well. You might also find this Huffington Post article 6 Unexpected Ways Writing Can Transform Your Health interesting.
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